Bacon and Asparagus -- both of these are awesome, let's combine them
Everyone knows bacon goes with everything, whether it's the nitrate-free uncured and free-range bacon we enjoy in our house or the tempeh bacon enjoyed by vegans, bacon is the greatest. Tonight we wrapped it around some delicious asparagus spears, baked it, crisped it under the broiler, and voila. This project takes 17 and half minutes from start to finish.
Ingredients:
2lbs of asparagus, snapped to 4-5" in length
8 strips of uncooked bacon
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 tsp black pepper
Directions:
1. Preheat the over to 400 degrees
2. Snap your asparagus to the correct length and place in a shallow dish
3. Drizzle your olive oil evenly over the spears, then, using your hands, disperse the olive oil evenly on all of the spears
4. Wash the oil off your hands and then grab the pepper. Sprinkle it as evenly as possible over the spears then, using your hands again, spread the pepper around
5. Wash the oil and pepper off your hands and get out the bacon and a broiler pan. If you don't have a broiler pan (/raises hand. I swear I used to have one? Huh) use any slotted pan suspended above a cookie sheet or another flat pan
6. Grab 1/4 of the spears and wrap a piece of bacon snugly around them at a slight angle starting about an inch from the base of the spears. It's ok for the bacon to overlap on itself. Holding the end of that piece in place, wrap another piece above that one
7. Place the asparagus bundle on the pan with the bacon ends on the bottom
8. Bake for 12 mins at 400 degrees
9. Turn the broiler to high. Place the pan of yummies just under the broiler for 4-5 minutes until the bacon edges crisp up
10. Enter yum city, population 2-4 depending how much you want to share.
Ingredients:
2lbs of asparagus, snapped to 4-5" in length
8 strips of uncooked bacon
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 tsp black pepper
Directions:
1. Preheat the over to 400 degrees
2. Snap your asparagus to the correct length and place in a shallow dish
3. Drizzle your olive oil evenly over the spears, then, using your hands, disperse the olive oil evenly on all of the spears
4. Wash the oil off your hands and then grab the pepper. Sprinkle it as evenly as possible over the spears then, using your hands again, spread the pepper around
5. Wash the oil and pepper off your hands and get out the bacon and a broiler pan. If you don't have a broiler pan (/raises hand. I swear I used to have one? Huh) use any slotted pan suspended above a cookie sheet or another flat pan
6. Grab 1/4 of the spears and wrap a piece of bacon snugly around them at a slight angle starting about an inch from the base of the spears. It's ok for the bacon to overlap on itself. Holding the end of that piece in place, wrap another piece above that one
7. Place the asparagus bundle on the pan with the bacon ends on the bottom
8. Bake for 12 mins at 400 degrees
9. Turn the broiler to high. Place the pan of yummies just under the broiler for 4-5 minutes until the bacon edges crisp up
10. Enter yum city, population 2-4 depending how much you want to share.

Eat this however you want. I pulled one spear out of the bunch at a time and saved the bacon for last. Each spear is delicious and has a hint of the bacon flavor. You could also grab the bunch by the ends and make an enjoyable mess. Enjoy the juicy crunchy yumminess however. (Apparently yumminess isn't a word either. Probably because Webster was British and there'd be no use for a term like that in England. Bazinga. ...I'm now learning that Noah Webster was in fact a staunch patriot of the American Revolution. Hmph. Nonetheless, like semi-automatic weapons, bacon wrapped asparagus is probably not something revolutionaries could have foreseen when writing the rules, constitutional or phoentical). [Phoentical also not a word. You. Are. KILLING. Me. Webster].