Hello eaters of yummy and real things! Tonight's recipe is a staple in my house because it's protein, dipped in protein, dredged in protein. Yasss. Plus, it's chicken tenders which just feels so thrillingly like a naughty naughty cheat meal. This recipe is perfect for just about anytime of year and works for doubling if you want to make an extra batch for lunches for the next few days. Enjoy!
​

Ingredients:
1. 1 package average sized package (1.2 - 1.2lbs) boneless skinless chicken thighs, breasts, or tenders
2. 2 farm fresh eggs
3. 1 1/3 cups almond flour
4. 2 Tablespoons ground flax seed
5. 2 teaspoons each of black pepper, poultry seasoning, and paprika
6. 3/4 teaspoon salt

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees
2. Slice your chicken into roughly tender size-and-shaped pieces. Do me a favor and don't get too uptight about the shape of these-you can always tell your kids they are dinosaur-shaped tenders or whatever. If you bought ready cut tenders, well done! Take a five minute break-make yourself some tea or pour a glass of wine
3. In a shallow bowl or inside a pie plate, mix together all of the dry ingredients. This will be the "breading" for the tenders
4. In a small/medium-sized bowl, crack the two eggs and beat/whisk them until they are uniform color and consistency
5. Put parchment paper on a cookie sheet and get it ready to receive the awesomey awesomey tenders
6. Grab a tender, dip it in the egg so that it's well-coated and then dredge it in the almond flour and spice mixture. Press the tender into the mixture so that it adheres
7. Lay the tender on the cookie sheet. Repeat with all other tenders
8. Bake for 18-20 minutes. Breading will not become exactly crispy but you'll hardly notice. The flavor and texture will be awesome and there will not be leftovers.

Serves 4 on normal days or 2 on squat days

Due to the fact that it's getting to be fall, or maybe just due to the fact that I killed it in yesterday's workout, I was really in the mood for something 'stick to your ribs' for dinner last night. I think the salad I had for lunch didn't help how starving I was. It had sardines on it and everything, it should have kept me full for longer but oh well. Drawing inspiration from a few different recipes and my tummy saying 'throw on more ham! More onions!' I put this together. It takes a full 45 minutes to bake so if you are hungry now I would refer you to one of the quicker recipes on this blog, or your local pizza place which carries gluten free crust.

Paleo Squash and Ham Bake

Ingredients:
1. 3 cups cooked butternut, acorn, or crooked neck squash* mashed
2. 1-1 1/2 lbs of cooked of ham, cubed
3. 1/2 of a medium-large yellow, green, or red onion, diced**
4. 4 medium or 3 large farm fresh eggs
5. 1/2 can of full fat coconut milk
6. 1 tsp coriander
7. 1-1 1/2 tsp black pepper
8. 2 Tbsp smokey Spanish or Hungarian paprika*** 

*Note that some sources report that crooked neck squash have significantly less nutritional content than butternut or acorn, but crooked neck have a firm but rich texture I like. You can go either way, or combine them

**Don't go crazy with the veggies here. Adding say, bell pepper or carrots will up the sweetness already found in the ham and will mess with the flavor of the dish. If you want additional nutrition from veggies consider something mild which will add to the texture but not interfere with the flavor, such as bok choy

***This smokiness with the ham and rich creaminess of the squash and filling is what takes this dish to the next level. Don't skimp.

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Grab a medium size casserole dish and put all of the squash on the bottom of it
3. Chop your ham and put that on top of the squash, then chop the onion and put it on top of that
4. Sprinkle half of your paprika and half of your pepper on top of the wonderful ingredients already in the dish
5. In a separate dish whisk together your eggs and coconut milk. Canned coconut milk is about half clear liquid and half semi-solid milk fat. Use half of each for this recipe, and air on the side of using more of the milk fat
6. Add the rest of the paprika and pepper and the coriander to the egg mixture and whisk again, making sure to scrape down the sides of the dish so you don't leave any spice behind
7. Pour the egg mixture evenly over the casserole. Some of the ham or onion pieces may float and this is fine.
8. Cook for 45 minutes or until the center of the casserole doesn't jiggle a lot when you tap the side of the dish. Let stand for at least 5 minutes before cutting into it.
9. Devour this dish and your next workout

Serves 4 normal people or 2-3 crossfitters, especially if served with a side salad or something

Where are the pictures? With hat in hand I must confess that we ate it too fast to grab a photo. I shall remember to snap a few pics the next time I make this so that you can be assured as you go along that your squash ham bake looks just like mine, although privately I think you should have more confidence in your mad skillz.

Now, onto PRs in handstand holds and getting everything in from the car in one trip!

Today's recipe was inspired by Ms. Teresa Adler of Primal Urge Cookery who is a gym buddy and kickass human being. I saw via instagram that she was whipping up some Almond Cinnamon Bread and thought, 'yes. that is what I need to do.' Bold independent women with their own ideas sometimes, well, sometimes they see a yummy fall recipe on a beautiful fall day and go, 'oh I am copying the snot out of that idea.' (Rule 4 of a food blog: don't mention snot for any reason. ever. [/shrug])

So I navigated to the recipe resource she mentioned and wouldn't you know, it was from a real life actual book. Like, with pages. Costing money. So I decided to search around until I found a few different but plausible similar recipes, read them, and then do what I wanted to do anyway. 

And it worked! And it's yum! Hooray! 

Here you have it, Cinnamon Date Bread

Ingredients:
1. 2 farm fresh eggs (or 1/4 cup ground flaxseed + 1/4 cup water if subbing in the vegan option)
2. 3/4 cup date paste (dried pitted dates blended in your food processor with just enough water to turn the mixture into a paste) OR 1 ripe banana, mashed
3. 3 Tbsp honey (replace with maple syrup to make vegan)
4. 1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
5. 1 tsp vanilla extract
6. 1 1/4 cup almond flour (any other nut flour or seed flour will work)
7. 1/3 cup coconut flour or coconut flakes
8. 2 tsp cinnamon
9. 1/4 tsp salt
10. 1/2 tsp baking soda  

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. If using the flax seed option, get your flax mixture ready to rock
3. Add the date paste or banana, honey, coconut oil and vanilla extract to the eggs or flaxseed mixture and beat or stir until smooth
4. In a separate bowl mix all of the dry ingredients together. Then mix in the wet ingredients. Combine. This will be wetter than traditional bread dough but this is normal
5. Grease 2 small loaf pans with coconut oil or clarified butter
6. Distribute the dough evenly and spread out with a spatula
7. Bake for 23 minutes or until a fork comes out clean

7. Allow to cool 8-10 minutes before slicing.

8. Enjoy plain or with a pat of clarified butter (the sweet cream/unsalted variety) and a small sprinkle of cinnamon. Salted butter will fight with the subtle sweetness of the bread.
9. Share the first pan with someone you like a lot and give the other pan to a neighbor or co-worker you've been meaning to thank for something. Or mail it to me, this recipe is yummy.

Everyone knows bacon goes with everything, whether it's the nitrate-free uncured and free-range bacon we enjoy in our house or the tempeh bacon enjoyed by vegans, bacon is the greatest. Tonight we wrapped it around some delicious asparagus spears, baked it, crisped it under the broiler, and voila. This project takes 17 and half minutes from start to finish.

Ingredients:
2lbs of asparagus, snapped to 4-5" in length
8 strips of uncooked bacon
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 tsp black pepper

Directions:
1. Preheat the over to 400 degrees
2. Snap your asparagus to the correct length and place in a shallow dish
3. Drizzle your olive oil evenly over the spears, then, using your hands, disperse the olive oil evenly on all of the spears
4. Wash the oil off your hands and then grab the pepper. Sprinkle it as evenly as possible over the spears then, using your hands again, spread the pepper around
5. Wash the oil and pepper off your hands and get out the bacon and a broiler pan. If you don't have a broiler pan (/raises hand. I swear I used to have one? Huh) use any slotted pan suspended above a cookie sheet or another flat pan
6. Grab 1/4 of the spears and wrap a piece of bacon snugly around them at a slight angle starting about an inch from the base of the spears. It's ok for the bacon to overlap on itself. Holding the end of that piece in place, wrap another piece above that one
7. Place the asparagus bundle on the pan with the bacon ends on the bottom
8. Bake for 12 mins at 400 degrees
9. Turn the broiler to high. Place the pan of yummies just under the broiler for 4-5 minutes until the bacon edges crisp up
10. Enter yum city, population 2-4 depending how much you want to share. 

Can we just talk about how many tomatoes are ripening right now? Thirteen trillion, at a bare minimum here in southern Wisconsin alone. Here's a way to use some of those beauties and get the benefit of the incredible lycopenes therein. This recipe is a 15 minute project, depending how done you like your burgers (I like mine rare/med rare). Grab some salad/greens and you've got dinner.

Super Juicy Burgers with built in ketchup

Ingredients:
1lb ground grass fed beef or lamb, or free range turkey or venison, or basically any sustainably-harvested land animal you wish to eat
4 beefsteak style tomatoes
1 teaspoon each of salt, pepper, and chili powder
1 Tablespoon of balsamic vinegar
1/2 roll of paper towels, and maybe a drop cloth

Directions:
1. Fire up your stove top or grill to burger grilling temp. Make 4 1/2lb patties from your meat of choice and get them started grilling/cooking. Sprinkle salt, pepper, and chili powder onto both sides of the patties as they cook
2. While your burgers are cooking get the buns ready. Slice the little green stemlet from the tomatoes, being careful not to cut the entire core out of the fruit. Removing the whole core top to bottom will weaken the overall structural integrity of your tomato bun and you don't want to spend that much time worrying about the structural integrity of a tomato, do you?

3. Once the stems are out, slice the tomatoes in half width-wise so they look like a hamburger bun
4. Since your tomatoes will serve as both bun and ketchup, you'll want to add a slight bit of the vinegar taste you expect from ketchup. Brush or drip balsamic vinegar onto each tomato half, and a sprinkle of salt

5. Once your burger patties are done to your liking, slap them between the tomato halves and get ready for the juiciest burger you've tried. 

Serves 4. Serve with lots of napkins and paper toweling and don't be afraid to make a bit of a mess-it's worth it!

Costco is dabomb dot com, amirite? Good quality food, reasonable prices on organics, and if that weren't enough, there's also samples! The one little adaptation we have to make is how to use up the large quantities we buy before they spoil. This is especially true with avocadoes. You know how those things  are

So when you have 6 avocados ripen all at once, you have about a 24 hour/17 minute window to use them all in all their delicious and nutritious glory. Here's a good way to use 2 of them. This recipe works for doubling too, so that's 4 of your bag of costco avocados. You can also mush them and then freeze them for later date guacamole so there's the other 2 used up. See I'm giving you recipes and doing math for you. You're welcome. In the meantime while you're double-checking my math (not a bad idea), make this dish because it's proof God loves us, I swear:

Ingredients: 
1 pkg (1.5-2lbs) chicken, cooked and cubed/chopped 
2 avocados cubed/chopped 
1 cup dried basil or 2 cups fresh 
3 cloves of garlic, smashed with the flat of the blade of your knife, not just diced (think 6th Harry Potter book) 
1/4 cup olive oil 
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar 
1 1/2 tablespoons lime or lemon juice, or a combination thereof 
1 teaspoon each salt, pepper, and cumin

Directions: 
1 - Put everything except the the chicken and avocado in a food processor and blend. Make sure to scrape the sides of the bowl with a spatula and then re-blend to ensure everything gets blended together 
2 - Toss your chicken and avocado in a medium bowl 
3 - Pour the thick sauce from the food processor over the chicken and avocados and stir until just blended (don't overdo the mixing or you may start to mush the avocados. Unless you want that more traditional creamy chicken salad texture. My gym buddy Jay Nellie recommends doing it this way and her taste and judgment are flawless so you have my blessing to go either way on this).
4 - Dish it up over a bed of lettuce or greens, or scoop up as is 
5 - taste bud boogie

Serves 3-4, or 2 crossfitters

You can substitute basil with cilantro; you can add some red onion or chives to make it ever zippier, but don't underdo the garlic. So much yum! Enjoy!

UPDATE:

When you thaw frozen avocados they thaw squishy and turn roughly the shade of a gym sock. They're no good for using in the above recipe when you need firm avocado chunks. So, to make this recipe using thawed 'cados, I recommend tossing them right in the food processor along with everything else. This creates a very creamy sauce for your chicken. While the sauce is the star of this dish in many ways, you probably still want something besides chicken in the base. I chopped up some salted cashews and combined them with the chicken before putting the yummy thick sauce over the top of both and it was yum city. This also kicks the protein count straight through the roof. Unless you just completed Murph, you probably are not going to want to curl up with a big bowl of this because you will get full much too fast. My tip would be to throw a heaping cup or two on top of some greens to make a complete meal out of it. Any way you slice it this dish will be great and so will you!

Hey everyone, it's my first post for this blog! I named this blog platonic paleo for a few reasons-one, a few other names I wanted to call it were already taken and I wanted alliteration in the title, and two, like most women in America I have/have had what would technically be termed a shaky or even unhealthy relationship with food. Admit it friends, we think about food (and its ingredients and calories and fat content and so on), a LOT. Maybe we stop short of driving past food's house, or calling food late at night and hanging up, but we are still pretty infatuated with food. Food exists so we can live, and in the case of many paleo-ers, perform. That's it. No need to obsess. I know, so much easier said than done, right? Nonetheless I strive to keep it 'just friends' with food, and I invite you to join and share this goal that fashion magazine editors and Jenny Craig alike would much rather we not have.

It's good food and that's all. Let's keep it platonic, shall we?